NYE: LONDON 2010

The plan? Make it unforgettable.

The usual? An evening with close friends.

The problem? I'm in London. I don't have any close friends.

Found: Tickets to a sold-out party.

Meet scalper at venue.

Scalper never shows up.
Doorman unsympathetic. 

Time: 11:14pm. 

Thoughts: fml.

Plan B? <<INSERT IDEA HERE>>

--Walk to Trafalgar Square--

What to do? New Year's Eve fireworks display!
Big Ben, the London Eye and the River Thames as the backdrop.

Time: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Received: 1 hoot and holler

Delivered: A 10-minute tutorial about how to be a gentleman.

--Walking through Leicester Square--

Join party-goers.
Earn an invite into a club. 

Entrance denied.

Head to nearest tube station.

Meet Graham...
A Kiwi drinking out of a brown bag.

Score my friend a beer. 

Compare Kiwi and UK slang.

New priority: I need to tinkle. 

Search for toilet.
Kiwi comes along (cost of beer revealed).

--Walk to Mayfair--

Toilet found. Bladder relieved.
New environment: The Black Diamond Ball.

Music: good.

Venue: impressive. 

Stay: extended!
Get approached by a 24-year old. 

Part from my group. Dance.

Kelly, I really like you.
Onto the next.

--Cab home--
Eat a pasty.
Step into my house.
Time: 5am.
zzz
Time: 11am.
Ring ring.
It's the scalper.
He wants money for his wasted tickets.
Jog the fuck on!
How was my New Year's Eve?
Unforgettable.