Tardy

I'm late.
This statement alarms most people who are meeting a friend, catching a flight or sexually active, but anyone who knows me... Knows better because I'm probably just floundering.

Not taking hours getting ready.
Not missing a train (regardless of what transport injustices I report).
Not sleeping through an alarm.
Nope. I just flounder.

That is to say I ponder the world as it relates to me (including the obligation to which I will be late). I consider irrelevant issues like a healthier grocery list, moisturising my dry legs or the ergonomics of my sleeping positions. Most (and worst) of all, I mischievously squander this 'bonus' time with a brand of giddy delight similar to that felt when a cashier gives you incorrect change or makes a transaction error in your favour. This time would otherwise be spent preparing, travelling to the destination where my timely attendance was expected. However, by neglecting to meet this expectation, I create a temporary matrix where time is duplicated and available for my use.

Perhaps I'm a rebel who shuns rigid instructions? You want me to be where? And you want me there when? Right.

Lateness implies a blatant disrespect for others time, lack of organisation and general selfishness. That's terrible, but I embody all of these characteristics. Regardless of how innocent my lateness might appear, this is a very bad character trait. And one that I must reform.

To start, I will aim to arrive to all engagements 30 minutes in advance of the actual meeting time. Let's see how I do!

I Once Owned A Dishwasher

Recently, I walked into my kitchen looking for a late night snack. I thought about the tub of yogurt in the refrigerator. Glanced at a glass bowl. And knew that a small spoon was waiting for me in the utensils drawer.

I then considered the dishwashing that would be associated with a few dallops of yogurt and decided to go to bed instead.

Funny.