Born Again

Every Sunday, there is a place where people wear fancy dress, unite in worship and celebrate a higher power... That higher power is the DJ and this place of worship is The Clapham Grand. Originally established in 1979 and governed mostly by the antipodean set, this event encourages drinking, dancing and fancy dress (costume) from noon to 4PM. http://www.thechurch.co.uk/

For months, I've gone on my Sunday runs that terminate at Clapham Junction and scratched my head at this spectacle. After an hour intervals up and down and challenging my VO2 max, I reach a state of exhaustion that feels like delirium when I walk through streets littered with drunken monkeys, cowboys and tennis teams in the middle of the day. Spiritual halucinations these are not. However, the whole concept reminds of a scene from an episode of the Simpsons called, "Hurricane Neddy".

[Ned talks to God after his house is destroyed.]
Ned: Why me, Lord? I've always been good. I don't drink or dance or swear. I've even kept kosher just to be on the safe side. I've done everything the Bible says! Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! What more can I do? I...I..I feel like I wanna yell out, but I just can't dang-darn-diddly-darn-dang-ding-dong-diddly-darned do it! I just...I... [sigh].

So The Church at Clapham Grand is the opposite of what Ned would do...

Once My Flame, Twice My Burn

Insanity \in-ˈsa-nə-tē\: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results

-Albert Einstein

Is there a limit to your love? A fierce loyalty, desire to love without barrier and disregard for convention in relationships has often left me reaching for my revolver. Perhaps this is an unfavourable approach? Although the many misguided theories I promote tout my greatest mistakes as my greatest accomplishments, I'm beginning to recognise the benefits of installing a limit. Wasted time, exhausted energy and expectations disappointed are all reflections that infuriate, but they must be essential. So where does this limit live? Consider the evolution that takes place under the guise of wasted time, all the wonderful ways to expend energy and all the disappointments that underwrite our delight.

Loving recklessly allows you to etch out new space in an old world. Unfolding yourself into this space is phenomenal. Where the air only expands in tandem with the bond. In time, a language is crafted and this native tongue is exclusive to the resident individuals. Lending your emotion begins to inherit heart. Igniting a fragment of yourself that somehow flows through a flue to alter what was your fact. Infallable? Friction is both physical and emotional. Emblazoned in fire. This space is found for few. And a flickering flame is sometimes best blown out? Forgiveness settles into cinder and maybe I still suffer from insanity.

Dabbling in the Inappropriate

Ever say something that has an unintended connotation? Well, my offenses have reached a height where I actually enjoy using inappropriate, sexually charged terminoligy in everyday speak. Why? Mostly to raise eyebrows, but also as an attempt to deconstruct the stigma around openly discussing sex. The list below includes the terms and phrases that are currently on high rotation in my vocabulary...

Tap - the act of sex. However, I like to use it as a way to express interest in anything. For example, there are tons of restaurants in London that I'd like to tap. 

Hit it and Quit it - a brief, singular sexual encounter. I've expanded this definition to include brief encounters of all kinds. For instance, a quick grocery shop where I hit it and quit it in 5 minutes.

I'll wash your sink - this is a less explicit version of 'I'll suck your dick', which is typically what crackheads say when pleading for cocaine. I've cleaned it up a bit and use it as an alternative to 'pretty please'. So when I ask to borrow a DVD and express my need by saying, "C'mon, I'll wash your sink?"... You know what time it is. 

Who's s/he planning on sending that to? - Usually in reference to sending an erotic photo or video to a partner, but there's cause for concern when the content is unflattering, right? So anything unimpressive from an outfit to a boss's management style could provoke this question.

Bent over - a sexual position where one party bends over and the other penetrates from behind. This phrase is common place  in conversations to describe situations where you've been unjustly treated or taken advantage of or... bent over.

Now most of you have probably heard me say all of the above at least once and some of you have even joined or inspired the terms, but all of you have definitely found yourselves in each of the scenerios I'm talking about (choose your translation). 

1 Year Ago...

...I moved to London. 

Shut Happens

While walking through Camden Town, I noticed a store that was closed and had put up a sign that read: Shut Happens. Clever. 

The creativity employed by retail and restaurant establishments in the UK is great! Here are some locations with great names:

1. Pie Minister - one of the UK's best meat pie restaurants
2. Nin Com Soup - a health concious soup, juice and coffee bar

3. Wok and Roll - this one's pretty self expanatory

Yum! The food in each of the above is quite good too.